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[The first thing you meet is darkness and a foul, stale air that hits you like a wall of fire. It’s sweltering hot in the darkness, acrid humidity slicking your skin and stinging your throat with every breath.
As your eyes adjust (if they do), you stand on a battered street of bitumen half-melted under your feet, beneath a heavy black smog that hangs almost low enough to touch. There’s no sky down here, no sunlight, and you are very much down beneath something; For the graffitied bases of impossibly large support columns loom up and into the sky you can’t see, making what once was a wide street little more than a meandering alleyway.
It’s empty of people and noise: No rumble of cars, no movement or music or distant voices. Just the occasional gleam of reflective eyes in the darkness as cats and rats dart past in their game of survival.]
((OOC: Please hop in #noregretse if at all possible!))
As your eyes adjust (if they do), you stand on a battered street of bitumen half-melted under your feet, beneath a heavy black smog that hangs almost low enough to touch. There’s no sky down here, no sunlight, and you are very much down beneath something; For the graffitied bases of impossibly large support columns loom up and into the sky you can’t see, making what once was a wide street little more than a meandering alleyway.
It’s empty of people and noise: No rumble of cars, no movement or music or distant voices. Just the occasional gleam of reflective eyes in the darkness as cats and rats dart past in their game of survival.]
((OOC: Please hop in #noregretse if at all possible!))
[You don’t want to stick around this bullshit, do you? Lucky you: With the vague hum and beep of a boot up noise, this tutorial bunny has popped out of existence to help!]
I’m the tutorial guide, here to introduce you to basic gaming concepts for pathetic pre-2082 cavemen!
Please complete the following time wasting tutorial to access the Stage Menu and start the game. Cutscene skipping is disabled. Escaping is disabled. Pause is disabled. Choose a tutorial subject by using voice selection!
> Important Game Terms.
> Area Map.
> Accessing the inventory.
> Terms and Conditions.
I’m the tutorial guide, here to introduce you to basic gaming concepts for pathetic pre-2082 cavemen!Please complete the following time wasting tutorial to access the Stage Menu and start the game. Cutscene skipping is disabled. Escaping is disabled. Pause is disabled. Choose a tutorial subject by using voice selection!
> Important Game Terms.
> Area Map.
> Accessing the inventory.
> Terms and Conditions.
Edited 2013-01-19 18:34 (UTC)
[ WHY CAN'T A PLACE BE BOTH WARM AND NOT POLLUTED?
bunny seems legit tho ]
... Important game terms?
bunny seems legit tho ]
... Important game terms?
Important game terms you should master before picking a stage.Party Selection: Pick people you would like to game with. It is best to travel in a group!
TPK: Total Party Kill, a term used after everyone you picked has died horribly! Or an enemy team has died horribly!
KEKEKEKE: Laugh!
Looting: What you do after KEKEKEKE when you see a TPK. For example: I looted your team last night, but all I got was this fat Shell’s dress.
Remember that everything is a game, and try to enjoy yourself before you D/C from life! I will!
Oh! We have a pre-prepared gift for you.There is no ‘Easy mode’ available for sad, pathetic cripples who will bring everyone down, so please take this pity gift item:
Text to Voice Translator
I’ve been keeping an eye out, and saw you making a spectacle of yourself. In my foresight I packed you these, since otherwise anyone without a vitreous sense of humour might lash out. Have a ball!
Charge remaining: 100%
[You are now wearing rabbit earphones that will translate all the miscellany text. Look how fashionable you are!]
Important game terms you should master before picking a stage.Party Selection: Pick people you would like to game with. It is best to travel in a group!
TPK: Total Party Kill, a term used after everyone you picked has died horribly! Or an enemy team has died horribly!
KEKEKEKE: Laugh!
Looting: What you do after KEKEKEKE when you see a TPK. For example: I looted your team last night, but all I got was this fat Shell’s dress.
Remember that everything is a game, and try to enjoy yourself before you D/C from life! I will!
[ ugh. the heat is unpleasant, but he copes by disconnecting, shoving the brunt of what he doesn't want to feel onto his host, as always. he's only drawing breath when he needs to speak, advantages of being an inorganic copy. this is different from the other games, especially since they entered in the woods and now they appear to be in a place fucking nothing like the area, but might as well deal with what's in front of him. ]
If you admit it's time wasting, why the fuck should we have to do this!?
But fine, first on the list! Give me the area map.
If you admit it's time wasting, why the fuck should we have to do this!?
But fine, first on the list! Give me the area map.
Inventory? Right, you don’t have one. Please listen to this content warning! Everything you touch: Coated in poison. Horrible poison. Only try taking my things if you want to melt while everyone laughs at you and records it. You don’t want to die, do you? In fact, you should probably empty your pockets to appease the poison and give me all your spare items.
Thanks for listening to this content warning.
[ sure is March's heart ]
Well, then... Accessing the inventory?
Well, then... Accessing the inventory?
Inventory? You don’t have one. Please listen to this content warning! Everything you touch: Coated in poison. Horrible poison. Only try taking my things if you want to melt while everyone laughs at you and records it. You don’t want to die, do you? In fact, you should probably empty your pockets to appease the poison and give me all your spare items. Thanks for listening to this content warning. By listening to this tutorial, you have accepted the following terms and conditions:You agree that you are responsible for any random acts of stabbing, including any stabbings purchased by being annoying, likable, from another team, from the same team, in clothing worth stealing, naked in public, being in the wrong place, being in the right place, and existing in general. There are no refunds, exchanges or feelings of guilt in the above cases.
You agree that you deserve to die horribly. Any commentary referencing being inside, touching or feeling anything will be recorded and played at your summary execution. We make no apologies, express or implied, for your well-deserved murder because you should shut up.
Privacy policy: You are responsible for any incriminating secrets, and accept all blame for secret loss. Side effects of losing incriminating secrets include: Blackmail, Death, Inappropriate Attention, Public Humiliation and -100 happiness.
Other side effects of this game are: A slow and painful death.
[ I don't think the map would help me much, but ]
Area Map.
[ just to get it out of the way ]
Area Map.
[ just to get it out of the way ]
[hot and smoggy and cute helpful animals, all my favorite things at once! all we need is some precision jumping puzzles to make the night complete~]
This sucks... Fine, show me the inventory.
This sucks... Fine, show me the inventory.
Four is the number after three. If you are having difficulty, please count on your fingers.
You must finish the tutorial to continue. You must finish the tutorial to continue. You must finish the tutorial to continue. You must finish the tutorial to continue. You must finish the tutorial to continue. You must finish the tutorial to continue. You must finish the tutorial to continue. You must finish the tutorial to continue. You must finish the tutorial to continue. You must finish the tutorial to continue. You must finish the tutorial to continue-
Inventory? You don’t have one. Please listen to this content warning! Everything you touch: Coated in poison. Horrible poison. Only try taking my things if you want to melt while everyone laughs at you and records it. You don’t want to die, do you? In fact, you should probably empty your pockets to appease the poison and give me all your spare items. Thanks for listening to this content warning.[ it's a bunny
who is too lazy to read
me ]
Um . . . I do not see the point of that, to be honest. Can we skip it?
who is too lazy to read
me ]
Um . . . I do not see the point of that, to be honest. Can we skip it?
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